Too Fast

Close your eyes

And go to sleep

Just relax and

Settle in deep

Dream sweet dreams, my dear

I'll be here to hold you near. 

On Sunday, my daughter tuned 21 months old. 

A month ago she woke up & basically decided not to be in diapers anymore. I had to go buy her big girl panties a day later because she did an amazing job figuring out the potty. She only uses one at night & still sometimes wakes up dry. 

She has three and four-word sentences and repeats almost everything me and Daddy say, clearly.
She can name all of her friends at Mothers Morning Out and nearly half our mine and my husband's huge family.

If I try to steal a kiss from her or "get her belly" she says. "No kisses" or "no belly."

She is so very, very smart.

I say all this not to brag, but to emphasize how quickly time has passed from when she was in my belly to her being this independent little person. 

I know a lot of parents want their child to fall asleep on their own at a certain point and if she had done that, it would have been fine because it's what I would have known. 
I know eventually (and probably sooner rather than later) she will be that child.

But I still rock her to sleep for her naps and at bedtime almost every single day and have since she left my body. 

I do it because I love staring at my beautiful child completely uninterrupted for as long as I want.

I do it because is there anything sweeter and more precious than a sleepy baby in your arms?

I do it because at the end of a long and stressful day together I feel like I need time to decompress and reflect, so I do it with her while she falls asleep. I like having her in my arms and close to my heart while we are both put at peace by the ocean waves on the noise machine. And perhaps I whisper an apology in her ear for the way I behaved if I lost my temper and/or raised my voice at her. 

Most moms, I think, would want time away from their child after a crazy stressful day, but I'm the opposite. If it wasn't a good day, then I feel the need to try and make the best out of it in 5, 10, 30 minutes or however long it takes for her to fall asleep.  On other days, sometimes her Daddy puts her to sleep because I think to myself, 'We had our good time, now they can have theirs.'
She already treats me and my husband differently or acts different around us. She'll do something for him that I can't get her to do with million "pleases." She fights me about nap time and bedtime but usually falls right asleep with him.  She'll even go to sleep for him on the floor on a pallet or in her crib while she sits next to her. 

I do it because have you ever heard a parent say, "Yeah, I really regret rocking my kid to sleep for that long"?

I do it because one day I will sit down in the LaZ Boy in her room & she will say, "No rock, Mommy."